I thought of how Hubby could quit his job and be free to choose something in which he finds more enjoyment. I pictured the house we could build, on the acres of land we would purchase out in the country. And then I wondered about the option of putting the children in a highly rated private school, and what I might choose to do with all that free time while they were off learning at this wonderful, expensive institution.
***sound of car breaks screeching through my brain***
At that very moment I was flooded with warm feelings of joy and contentment.
It was such a moment of clarity.
I don't want to SEND my children anywhere! I love that our family flows with our own rhythm. I enjoy the flexibility we have - to learn or to rest when it's best for us, to study subjects of interest, to decide how we'll approach controversial topics, to travel when we want to, create on a whim, give and receive midday hugs, bring the dog into our "classroom" everyday.
From the day they were born, I have felt such an overwhelming sense of responsibility for the well-being of these little lives. They are ours to love and nurture. The first time I held each of them, I was absolutely clear about one thing: whatever happens in the lives of my precious children, on my watch or not, it is ultimately on my head. Not that I am God in their lives, only God is God. And I don't have control of everything that happens. But I do have a responsibility to answer to my Lord for the decisions I make on their behalf. How could I send them away, when clearly He has given Hubby and me the desire and drive to nurture and teach them ourselves?
Some of the best homeschooling advice I've ever heard comes to mind:
Once you find something that works for you, stop looking.
(That's my "teacher desk" in the picture.)