Wednesday, January 23, 2008

What am I doing?

I'm homeschooling my 4 and 6 year olds. Though I've been teaching them about life since they took their first breaths, I only began "formally" schooling them in mid 2007. It's like an uphill climb to get going. And once we get stopped by something (illness, holidays, etc...) it's like starting all over again. Every single time. So here I am again feeling that I don't have any idea what I'm doing.

I have never doubted that our family would homeschool. That was pretty much decided while my husband and I were dating. We've never questioned our preference since then. But that doesn't mean we are prepared or know what we're doing. Just that we are confident that we will do it. Are doing it.

I love having freedom and flexibility in our day, but I work better when there is structure. I can be very disciplined, until I decide I don't want to be. Is there any hope for me? When I get a sense of what we are doing, the kids respond pretty well. It feels like our whole world balances on my shoulders. I love that, and I hate it.

So to sum up, right now I just need to figure out what I'm doing again. Can anyone relate?