Discovering Life

Hope For The Journey

2011-10-25T11:06:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I wonder why God doesn't seem to be leading us on our homeschool journey like He does with some other families. Why do I struggle so much, and when will I know if we're doing it right?

I have felt a lot of guilt about many aspects of our homeschool. One of those is curriculum choices. There are so many wonderful choices out there, and I have enjoyed exploring them all. But you have to choose. How do you know if you're choosing the right ones? Somehow I keep choosing materials that are well suited for children with learning disabilities. Why? I guess those are easier for me to teach than others, I don't know. They also tend to be more interactive, which my kids like.

Recently I had my daughter evaluated, so that we could determine how best to help her with a couple of issues. I was just looking for some feedback, some advice. It turns out that she may be dyslexic, and the very materials that I've been using for years have been just what she needed!

I guess the Lord has been walking this journey with us all along, even when I wasn't so sure about that.

"I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall. I well remember them, and my soul is downcast within me. Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, 'The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.' " -Lamentations 3:19-24

New Year, New Me

2011-02-06T11:20:00.000-08:00

What would you say to a friend who asked you for advice about making tough decisions in life? Or everyday decisions, for that matter. What do you say to someone who wants guidance, reassurance, direction, comfort? Think about that for a minute before you read further.

For a long time I have been seeking to grow - spiritually, socially, as a parent and homescooler, as a friend, etc. I think I have chosen many good ways to seek out growth. Online research, Bible study groups, attending church, and spending time with others who aspire to or exemplify the traits or skills I admire. Isn't this the way to grow, to blossom, even? Yes, it can be. All of these "good" activities and methods can be very helpful. But they are not the first or most essential part of growth or guidance. There is one important element that is not listed here.

For a Christian, the most essential way to grow is to seek guidance, reassurance, direction, and comfort from the One who knows us best. Unless you do that, the rest becomes merely fluff.

This is the message my own life has taught me lately. I pray to God. Sometimes I journal. I read my Bible daily. (most of the time) But I have been unable to Be Still And Know That He Is God. Partially because of schedule commitments, but mostly because of my own lack of..... hmmm..... discipline? commitment? faith?

I've been trying to do all of the above EXCEPT the one most essential. I don't know why I've been trying to get around true, honest time to get quiet before my Lord. I give to missions, I volunteer, I'm a good person...... "SShhhhhh......" I'm at church every Sunday, I'm devoted to my family.... "SShhhhh......" I... I... I... "SShhhhhh......"

The problem is that I'm trying to be good enough. Rather, I'm trying to DO good enough. But that's not what God requires of me first and foremost. He wants me to BE QUIET. Be still. Let Him lead.

How did you answer the questions in the first paragraph? Did you think of a good book to suggest? A person who might be helpful? An organization? Did you think about GOD? Practical help and encouragement is important. Hands on service is vital. But don't forget about prayer. Don't forget that quiet time to connect with God, to receive the love He gave to us through His Son, Jesus, should always be central in our lives.

When these things get out of order, the "good" can become painful or ineffective. If you keep the first thing first, the rest becomes a joyful bonus.

I said NO!

2010-10-21T18:40:00.000-07:00

My motto for this year is.... are you ready.... NO! Yes, that's correct, NO!
Have you ever decided to take a break from all outside distractions and just say "NO!"? I had no idea how many requests I receive until I decided to just say "NO!" It's like the world is my two-year-old. I feel like I'm constantly saying "NO!"

Why do I keep typing it with such emphasis? Because this time I really mean it! "NO!" At first it was hard to say no, but it's getting easier. I finally have time to think. I'm beginning to dig my way out of the pit. You know, that life-is-dragging-me-around-by-the-hair pit. I'm making the decisions, and my decision is "NO!"

I'm feeling a little lighter. A little bit giddy, in fact! I actually enjoy saying "NO!" Come on, try it! You know you want to! "NO!" "NO!" "NO!"

There, wasn't that fun?

How is our homeschool doing?

2010-10-14T13:59:00.000-07:00

A recent conversation with a friend was my motivation to begin blogging again. This time I would like to be more consistent than twice a year, but I make no promises. Here goes...

We are several weeks into the new school year, so I'll stop to evaluate our progress.
Books and materials gathered - Check!
Lessons being completed - Check!
Kids learning - Check!
Schedule in place - Check! (this has been one of our biggest challenges)

I am pleased that we seem to have gained a sort of flow that didn't exist when we started. I'm also pleased with my own improvement as "administrator" of this little school-house we call home. We've come a long way over the last few years.

Yet I am baffled. While I can appreciate our growth and stability, I still struggle to meet the high expectations that reside somewhere in my head.
-We've accomplished so much, but I still feel inadequate.
-We are succeeding, but I feel like I'm failing.
-We've created a life-school, but wouldn't they be better off in "real" school?
Are you getting dizzy yet? I see a future for those interested in HPPS. That would be Homeschool Parent Psychological Services, for those who don't know. And I'm sure you don't, because I just made it up. :-)

As I write I'm reminded of what the Bible says about this kind of thinking.

"If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does." James 1:5-8, NIV

Okay, so now what? I am clear of my calling to homeschool. I am also clear that God never asked me to do this alone. So I'm going back to the book of James. I'll focus on chapter 1 verse 5. That's enough for me.

"If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him."

Homeschooling with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome

2009-01-26T07:01:00.000-08:00

Just before New Years I received a diagnosis of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome to explain the symptoms I have experienced for the last 3 years. After so much time of doctor visits and lab tests and being told I'm perfectly healthy, FINALLY I get an answer that tells me I'm not crazy. I'm not suddenly lazy, it's not all in my head, and I have lab tests to prove it. Yes, I actually need the evidence to remind myself. There is so much confusion around CFS and similar chronic illnesses, it's important that I have evidence to hold onto to defend myself against the unbelieving. I don't want this to be an illness blog, but it does change the way we manage our lives and our homeschool. So I just want to include it. Maybe it will help someone else who faces the same challenges and wants to know there are others out there who understand. I'm not devastated or disabled, but the way I live my life has changed. Significantly.

How do I homeschool with chronic fatigue?
1) Our homeschool MUST be a top priority, or it won't get done. That means that the whole family must help out with the other responsibilities. I can't do it all, and now I can finally stop trying to do it all.

2) I must take good care of myself. Nutrition, rest, and whatever exercise will benefit me. This is a good lesson for the whole family. We are focused on living healthier lives once again. Balance in life is critical.

3) Good friends and family who support you. It is vital to be surrounded by people who support, not doubt or harass you, about your limitations and choices.

4) Choices. We all have choices, but with CFS my choices make all the difference. I can accomplish a limited number of tasks or activities each day (sometimes each week), so I must choose. Once I have used them up, there are no more. It doesn't matter that there is more to be done or enjoyed, I'm out of options. If I waste my choices on things that don't matter, I can't get them back. And I can't add extras. So I must be focused on what is really important to me and my family, and let the rest go.

I am grateful that CFS has brought me to a place of evaluating what is important and what is not, of focusing on a balanced, healthy life, and of being determined more than ever to choose what is truly important. It's so easy to make excuses. But I have received the gift of clarity (when the brain fog has not taken over, that is). Whatever my future holds, I know I am in my Heavenly Father's hands, and never out of His grace. He knows exactly where I am.

2008-12-10T05:14:00.000-08:00

Ahhh..... the cold wind of December. The tunes of Christmas dancing in my head. The joy of reflecting on the greatest gift ever given. And to top it off, a break from book work and schooling pressures. This month we are enjoying a more lighthearted approach to learning, which really means playing, creating, relaxing. Thanks to a great sale on a particular curriculum we use, we are awaiting the arrival on some new materials and will begin again in January. With a new plan. Hopefully a better plan. We haven't really remained as consistent with our schooling as I intended. But after reading "Are We Making Progress?" in The Homeschool Minute last week (a weekly e-newsletter from The Old Schoolhouse Magazine), I learned that it is normal to hit a slump about this time of year. Whew! What a relief to realize that it's not just us! So we are taking a break, and putting together a plan to start again in January.

Here's an interesting video link that landed in my inbox this morning:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hRGZLSVph3A

Blessings of joy and hope to you!

God's Plan

2008-11-16T19:41:00.000-08:00

In addition to feeling completely lost and defeated about homeschooling, I got sick this week. I just gave up on everything, wrapped myself in blankets, and got comfortable on the couch. After catching up on some rest, I pulled out a few copies of The Old Schoolhouse and started reviewing the articles. I was inspired (partially out of desperation) to give up struggling to appease the voices screaming inside my head. It is time to pray and actually trust my Lord, not just say I do. I read over and over that man put children in schools, but God put them in families. He will equip us to teach and guide our own children!

I am convinced that more committed prayer and Bible study will guide me on this journey. And one of the awesome resources that I was guided to tonight is a very simple guide for how to make your own lapbooks. Check it out:
http://www.squidoo.com/lapbook-planning

"I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you." Psalm 32:8

"But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint." Isaiah 40:31

Where to go from here?

2008-11-04T10:27:00.001-08:00

After getting off track with our schooling, it's been such a struggle to get back on track. I'm so tired every day. I don't know how to motivate my kids to dive into their schoolwork and finish it without having to threaten some type of punishment. And follow through with it. The threats are not working. They ARE learning. They just don't seem interested in following the pattern set forth in "the books". And I'm exhausted trying to figure it all out and put it into practice. I'm tempted to just let go and see what happens.
Here's an interesting blog about someone who did just that:
http://heartofthematteronline.com/2008/11/04/the-best-reading-curriculum-ever/#comment-19463

Thoughts on Halloween

2008-10-23T05:51:00.000-07:00

It's the season of scariness once again. Yes, Halloween is almost here. I came across a very interesting article that expresses my view of it here: http://heartofthematteronline.com/2008/10/23/halloween-for-christians/#comment-19247

I wish more people would take a serious look into the experiences they choose to spend their life on. It's easy to follow the crowd, the accepted routine. But I prefer to know what I am choosing.

"Now fear the LORD and serve him with all faithfulness. Throw away the gods your forefathers worshiped beyond the River and in Egypt, and serve the LORD. But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your forefathers served beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD." Joshua 24:14-15

Persistence

2008-10-02T07:08:00.000-07:00

Excellent article about homeschooling and why some oppose it.
http://heartofthematteronline.com/2008/10/breaking-mirror.html

After 2 weeks of having each person in our house come down with some form of sickness, we are all healthy again. We've kept up with our school work, mostly. The part we are struggling with is getting the routine to be "routine" again. Here's what I've realized: rather than striving to get where we want to be, staying the course will get us there. Flexibility and persistence are key. So what it comes down to is this: DON'T GIVE UP!

Oh, and also, pray. But that's a given. :-)

A New School Year

2008-09-05T07:05:00.000-07:00

I haven't been very faithful on this blog, but now that we've "officially" started our school I will try to update about once a week. We started school the day after Labor Day. I went by the way we did it when I was young, not starting mid-summer like public schools do now. Anyway...

I thought I had to have our schedule, our lesson plan, and everything else in place before we could start. What a lot of pressure! I asked several people to pray for us as we prepared to begin. And now that it is Friday of our first week (WOO HOO!) I see things a little bit differently. Yes, it helped to have the plans mapped out, it gave me a reference point. But as we were playing a math "game" that I made up on the spur of the moment to teach a concept my children were not grasping, I realized something. I don't want to be so focused on keeping to our preplanned lesson schedule that I forget to make sure they are actually LEARNING.

The whole reason I am homeschooling is so that my children learn and grow and become fulfilled adults who can be generous with their gifts. They are lovingly placed into my hands by God who created them to be individuals. To set up a year-long school plan without room for deviation is useless. Our school plan is our compass, not our ship.

I also see that I have truly been "schooling" them since the day they were born. I didn't have a lesson plan that told me what to do each day, they didn't take tests. They didn't progress from one milestone to the next because someone said, "this is required today."

I'm exhausted, and I love this, and I wouldn't want to be anywhere else.

Lessons of Life

2008-06-18T03:55:00.001-07:00

We were in Arkansas over the weekend to visit family. While there we took a nice, long hike on a beautiful, tree covered mountain. As we started our hike I thought to myself, "We should have been studying plants, or Arkansas, or something that we could 'learn' about." (like the hike would be a waste if we weren't doing a focused study) But as we went along we found interesting plants and colors to enjoy, discuss, think about. We identified some plants, including poison ivy and poison oak, and made a game of searching for the "leaves of three, let it be" plants. We practiced respect for nature, helpfulness with each other, friendliness to other hikers. We looked in awe at God's creation. We reinforced conservation by not wasting water when we found a camp area and water fountain. We practiced "slow and steady wins the race" (from The Tortoise and The Hare) as we made our way back up the mountain.

We're still learning how to homeschool. Sometimes I feel like I'm not doing very well. But then God reminds me that we are exactly where we are supposed to be, and if we look to Him we'll find our way just fine. I love this adventure!

"I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you." Psalm 32:8

Article: "Is Homeschooling for Everyone?"

2008-06-18T03:51:00.001-07:00

I came across a wonderful article today, a real encouragement and reminder of why we homeschool. I hope you enjoy it!
"Is Homeschooling for Everyone?"
http://heartofthematteronline.com/2008/06/is-homeschooling-for-everyone.html

Homeschool Freebies!!!

2008-06-02T05:50:00.000-07:00

I've been searching the internet the last few days to learn more about lapbooks and other unit studies, and have found some amazing sites! If you are looking for some free projects to download, try one of these sites. I'm so impressed with what I found on them both! Thank you to all of you experienced homeschoolers who share your wisdom and tools with beginners.

Freebie of the Day: http://homeschoolfreebie.wholesomechildhood.com/

Homeschool Share.com: http://www.homeschoolshare.com/

2008-05-06T18:15:00.000-07:00

I'm trying to get it together so that we can focus more on learning this summer. It's been a slacker Spring. I've finally decided on some basic curriculum we'll use this year, and I'm so excited about that! I'm going to my first home school book fair later this week. Yippee! I've just recently discovered notebooking and lapbooking, and I'm feeling a lot more enthusiastic about our schooling. I think the kids will really enjoy it. I want to learn, too!

I'm visiting various home school groups in our area this month. I'm feeling ready for some comradeship with other like minded people/families. And I really want my research of the many methods and styles of schooling to expand beyond the internet.

My daughter will turn 5 this week; she's a big girl now. We are having her big Chuck E Cheese birthday party, instead of the usual party at home. 5 is a milestone birthday in our house. A new bike and a big birthday party.

We are enjoy the beautiful weather this month. I hope you are, too! Take care!

What am I doing?

2008-01-23T13:37:00.000-08:00

I'm homeschooling my 4 and 6 year olds. Though I've been teaching them about life since they took their first breaths, I only began "formally" schooling them in mid 2007. It's like an uphill climb to get going. And once we get stopped by something (illness, holidays, etc...) it's like starting all over again. Every single time. So here I am again feeling that I don't have any idea what I'm doing.

I have never doubted that our family would homeschool. That was pretty much decided while my husband and I were dating. We've never questioned our preference since then. But that doesn't mean we are prepared or know what we're doing. Just that we are confident that we will do it. Are doing it.

I love having freedom and flexibility in our day, but I work better when there is structure. I can be very disciplined, until I decide I don't want to be. Is there any hope for me? When I get a sense of what we are doing, the kids respond pretty well. It feels like our whole world balances on my shoulders. I love that, and I hate it.

So to sum up, right now I just need to figure out what I'm doing again. Can anyone relate?